Embarrassing moment # 1,437

I love performing. I danced for nearly 20 years, and loved being on stage. I was on the speech team in high school, and enjoyed speaking in front of people.


However, I do not enjoy dancing at a club and I do not enjoy talking to people I do not know very well.

The important thing is that I have practiced my dance or script, and I know what I am doing, and I can go on with confidence. I am just not quick on my feet. I have trouble in social situations when I don't know people very well. I have no idea what to say. I am shy as hell. I would rather sit in the corner eating appetizers (hmmm, maybe that's where all this weight has come from) than have to talk to people I don't know very well.
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Poi Dog Pondering is my favorite band. Luckily for me, they are based in Chicago and I've probably seen them in concert 35 times or so. Most of those concerts have been with my friend, Scott. I've been to San Francisco to see them and Scott has seen them in Washington D.C. We have even 'borrowed' friends' children to go to a Poi Dog children's concert. Yeah, we like 'em. A lot.

A few years ago, Scott and I were out for dinner. We were dining and drinking and enjoying each others company like we always do. Then, as I was sitting there, I saw Frank Orrall, the lead singer/mastermind of Poi Dog come walking in the door. I bounced in my seat as I told Scott who was walking in behind him. Scott, the calm, cool, collected quick thinker that he is, said that we should send Frank’s table some drinks. So, we did just that. Yeah, we’re cool like that.

Next thing I know, calm and cool Scott is bouncing up and down in his seat as he tells me that Frank is making his way to our table. Can you imagine? The leader of the band we have been stalking following for years is coming over to our table.

Frank arrives at our table and thanks us for the drinks.

This is my chance, right? To tell the man how we love his music, how we’ve been listening for years, how we borrow children so we can witness his band’s magic.

Yeah, right. Whatever.

I so cleverly say:

“We’re really big fans.”

That’s it.

Like I was Kathy Bates from “Misery” or something! Yeah, my big chance, and I basically scare the guy so bad, he hightails it back to his table.

See, it’s better if I just keep eating and keep my mouth shut.