Walking in a Winter Wonderland [with used crap]

My grandmother was a very thrifty woman. Hell, who am I kidding? She was cheap as hell. I remember eating government cheese in her house even though she could afford the good stuff. One winter, I was lucky enough to get a winter coat that she had garbage picked out of her alley. Yeah, my mom had it dry cleaned, but I still didn't like it. I was in 5th grade and it was the late 70's and those awesome Eskimo coats were the RAGE. They were a navy blue parka and had this snorkel hood that could extend out past your face and was trimmed with synthetic fur and they looked sooooo warm. I wanted one, bad. Does anyone remember these? I was stuck with the garbage picked coat. It was a rust red, and it wasn't suede, but maybe a fake suede. I hated that sucker.
One day, during recess, there was huge patch of ice on the playground, and all the kids were lining up to take their turns.... You would get a running start, and then at the edge of the ice patch, you would land on your belly, and slide for hours (minutes? seconds?) to the end of the ice patch. Awesome, right? The parka coats had a lining that was made of some nylon type of material, and those suckers slid really well. Can you see where this story is going? I lined up to take my turn for a slide on the ice patch. I had my running start, hit the edge of the ice and went to my belly. Thud. I was like the rough Velcro ball on a Velcro wall. I stuck like I was dipped in super glue. That damn garbage picked coat with its fake suede didn't slide. Not even an inch.

That day, recess sucked.