Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day 2009

Today is the first Father's Day without my father.  He passed away on January 2, 2009, exactly 32 years to the day that his father (my grandfather) passed away.  He was 66 and in my mind much to young to leave.

As I was putting on my make-up this morning, I thought, whoa, hold on, don't put the mascara on yet.  On June 6, we had our first Johnnyfest.  A big party in honor of my dad's birthday (June 7).  Over 60 people came.  The party started at 2pm and lasted until 1am.  People came from as far as Florida and Iowa.  It was a success.  For Johnnyfest, I made a slide show of pictures put to music of my dad.  I needed to watch it again today, and in order to watch it, one cannot wear mascara.  So, I just watched it, and I was glad that I didn't apply mascara.  

I have always been a daddy's girl, and the loss of my dad has hit me so hard.  I struggled with the idea of if I should use this summer sisters blog for this entry.  But, then I thought, this is also my blog, and where else would I put these thoughts that I needed to share.  

Yesterday, my brother and his family and me and Ignacio went to my mother's house to celebrate Father's Day.  On the way to my mom's, we both stopped at the cemetery (separately).  There is no headstone yet, so we both went to the area where we thought he was and looked for the fresh grave site.  We talked about it when we got to my mom's and found out that we both went to the wrong grave.  Yup, crying over the wrong person.  You can laugh now.

I love you dad and I miss you more than I ever thought I could miss someone; I hurt more than I ever thought I could hurt.  It is so weird to have been 4 for 40 years, then all of sudden, we are 3.  I want 4 back.


  1. Well said Natalie, I hope you have/had a good day remembering nice things and looking back at fun pictures. This day never gets any easier but I find a good way to cope is to simply talk to my dad and I know he hears me and talks back... even if I'm the only one that can hear him...

  2. Well, Baby Girl, you made me cry again today. I, too, went to the cemetery -- to the right grave. I told Dad about you and Tiger and he said "that's okay--they are knuckleheads". Today, Cooper asked again for a thumbprint necklace of his Papa. Carter told me that his heart hurts that Papa died.

    P.S. I also want FOUR back!