Saturday, December 11, 2010

11 things (#reverb10)

Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. Use the end of your year as an opportunity to reflect on what's happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead. With Reverb 10 - and the 31 prompts our authors have created for you - you'll have support on your journey.

December 11 – 11 Things
What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

1. weight--I need to get rid of my excess weight.  I need to get rigorous about my exercise and eating habits.  I don't like feeling embarrassed of the way I look.  I hate the thought of seeing people I haven't seen in a few years; I'd rather eat glue, seriously, I'm that embarrassed.
2. clutter-- I am a pack rat and the clutter around me makes me anxious, and there is no reason I can't fix that problem.
3. obligation-- I always feel obligated to do certain things, and once I commit, I would never cancel even if I don't want to do something.  I need to get over it and only commit to participate in activities that I really want to do.
4. guilt-- I can feel guilty about anything.  I can feel bad for 30 minutes for getting ready to turn right at a stop light and having to stop suddenly for not seeing that pedestrian.  I feel guilty if I am gone too long and not home for my animals.  I feel guilty if I take all of the big dryers in the laundry room.  It's all little stuff that has no meaning.
5. fear-- I fear people I don't know, certain social gatherings, and I could break out in hives at the hint of conflict.  Come on, Nat, grow a pair, and stop being such a baby.
6. debt-- This one has been on my list to get rid of my entire adult life.  Just get it together, Natalie, would you?
7. laziness-- My alarm goes off at 4:55 am every morning.  I need to just get my ass up and get to the gym instead of laying in bed and having a fight with myself.  I mean really, was an hour of sleeping with the snooze alarm going off every 9 minutes really restful?  Also, there is so much I could/should be doing rather than watching TV.  I think my DVR has ruined my life.
8. relationships-- I feel like it's that time in my life where if a relationship doesn't benefit me in some way, there is no reason to work at it.  If there is no joy generated from a relationship, I just need to move on.
9. procrastination-- I have so many photography books and creative books and notes from e-classes and Rosetta Stone on my computer, and I need to dig in.  I mean really dig in.  Seriously, I think my DVR may have ruined my life.
10. recluse-ness-- My laziness, fear, and grief and made me a bit of a recluse.  I am perfectly happy to sit in my home for days, maybe weeks on end.  I am perfectly content to sit on the couch and watch TV instead of doing all of things I mentioned above.  Damn DVR.
11. grief-- I feel like the grief over the death of my father has paralyzed me.  The sadness I felt/feel has caused me to gain a lot of weight, buy a lot of unneeded things, and to stay inside my home.  On the other hand, I feel if I let go of the grief, I'll feel guilty for not holding my dad close.  (I realize this isn't a logical argument)


  1. Oh, honey, I'm right there with you on almost every single entry.

    Where are our magic wands?! (I just mistyped "magic wants." That made me smile.)

  2. Great list... But don't be so hard on yourself! You are amazing. And you WILL finish couch-to-5K! I have faith in you!

  3. Wow, that is quite a list and a whole lot of honesty to put out there. You are so amazing, talented & beautiful, give yourself some credit. You do sooo much for everyone! xox

  4. I was thinking the same thing... don't be so hard on yourself!

    I used to watch a lot more tv. It became a habit on bed rest to watch tons and tons of tv. What I did was delete shows that weren't shows that Jon and I watched and together and weren't shows that I felt like gave me serious joy.

    Then we alternate. One night we watch tv and I mean, I am a couch potato watching everything. The next night, the tv doesn't get turned on. I find I can't watch just one program... if I watch one, I watch until I go to bed.

    That single-handedly has given me more time.