Thursday, December 17, 2009

Walking in a Winter Wonderland [with used crap]

My grandmother was a very thrifty woman. Hell, who am I kidding? She was cheap as hell. I remember eating government cheese in her house even though she could afford the good stuff. One winter, I was lucky enough to get a winter coat that she had garbage picked out of her alley. Yeah, my mom had it dry cleaned, but I still didn't like it. I was in 5th grade and it was the late 70's and those awesome Eskimo coats were the RAGE. They were a navy blue parka and had this snorkel hood that could extend out past your face and was trimmed with synthetic fur and they looked sooooo warm. I wanted one, bad. Does anyone remember these? I was stuck with the garbage picked coat. It was a rust red, and it wasn't suede, but maybe a fake suede. I hated that sucker.
One day, during recess, there was huge patch of ice on the playground, and all the kids were lining up to take their turns.... You would get a running start, and then at the edge of the ice patch, you would land on your belly, and slide for hours (minutes? seconds?) to the end of the ice patch. Awesome, right? The parka coats had a lining that was made of some nylon type of material, and those suckers slid really well. Can you see where this story is going? I lined up to take my turn for a slide on the ice patch. I had my running start, hit the edge of the ice and went to my belly. Thud. I was like the rough Velcro ball on a Velcro wall. I stuck like I was dipped in super glue. That damn garbage picked coat with its fake suede didn't slide. Not even an inch.

That day, recess sucked.

7 comments:

  1. I so remember those coats. As a matter of fact I have a picture of myself wearing one on my fridge at home! Funny how you loved it. I hated it. Especially since my parents bought it at Goldblats (sp)! Do you remember that store in Downtown Hammond? It is the store The Christmas Story movie refrences.

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  2. That Government cheese was the best! Sometimes she would get more than one and we were able to take some home. Mmmmm!

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  3. Nancy- Loved Goldblatts! We would be treated to lunch at Walgreens across the street.

    San-- I could probably devote an entire blog to Gram's cheap stories. :)

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  4. I never got an Eskimo coat..at that point in my life we were having eggs for dinner and a pot of beef stew for a week !!...I am sure I had whatever was on sale at Sears :)
    It is funny what we remember.
    What is this government cheese?..I picture velveeta (which isn't even cheese-I think they call it cheese since it melts)....

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  5. Government cheese was this big, long block of orange cheese that took an ax to cut.

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  6. Julie asked my question....I'm sure my coat was from either KMART or ShopKO -- take your big. Sears or JCPenney was a splurge.....

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  7. Oh, and Julie: Velvetta Cheese was considered a "special for grilled cheese sandwiches" that stuff can melt!!

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