dreaming big

It’s that time again; time to dream big, bitches. Registration is now open for the next session of Mondo Beyondo.


I took the class some time last year, and me thinks it’s time to re-enroll, and touch base with my dreams. I plan to dream bigger and I plan to make more magic happen. I mean, seriously, who couldn’t use some magic these days?

I highly recommend dreaming big and Mondo Beyondo. Click the button above on the right and take the dive.

simply hanging on



Tiffany Dome at the Chicago Cultural Center


This poem hit me today.


the climbing gym


The mats below the wall are three inches thick, at least.


I could fall if I had to and nothing would break. Still, I dig fingertips


into the handholds, trying to fight gravity. I'm at my freest


letting go, but surrender is never casual. My heart flops and slips


each time, bruised and shaken. Even here, with such ample cushioning below,


I resist the drop. And it takes everything as each tendon and muscle strains,


the skin of my hands rubbing raw, the ascension slow


and shaky, my toes at the slimmest ledges, and blood hammering my veins.


This is what is being asked: move up or come down.


There’s no reward for simply hanging on.

It’s written by Maya Stein, a woman I met in Mondo Beyondo. Maya writes a 10-lined poem every Tuesday, and this is the one I received today. The last line just kills me. “There’s no reward for simply hanging on.”

That is what I feel like I’ve been doing since my father died; hanging on. I’ve not moved forward. I’ve felt paralyzed.

There is so much I want to do. Currently, I’m taking Susannah Conway’s Unravelling course, and today in one of my writing assignments, I wrote down what I wanted to be:

dancer/photographer/interpreter(sign language)/Francophile

Well, guess what else I discovered? All four of these require a lifetime of learning and devotion. Which leads me back to Maya’s poem: “…move up or come down. There’s no reward for simply hanging on.”

I’ve just been hanging on. I’ve been imprisoned by the grief; felt safer in my home than going after the things I desire.

Last week, I had dinner at Girl and The Goat (trip #3!) with Laura (another friend from Mondo Beyondo), and she made 2010 her best year ever, and I’m pretty sure every year after will just get better and better. She has a fantastic plan for 2012, and I want to do it too. But that means I’ll have to leave my safe home, and go out into the world.

I’ve been excited about 2011; I wake up every morning looking forward to making some things happen. But inevitably, I don’t accomplish much. It’s like there is so much to do, I don’t know where to start. It’s kind of like the same feeling I get with decluttering my home or office, there’s just so much to do, that I don’t know where to begin.

All four of the things I want to become require a lot of work, but they are things I enjoy doing. I just need a plan and a schedule (and to follow that sucker). They require me to ‘move up or come down’. Because there is no doubt “there’s no reward for simply hanging on.”

FALL into MONDO

I have written about my Mondo Beyondo (a class about dreaming big) experiences here and I wanted you all to know that the next Mondo class starts August 30. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate fall and yourself than by the special treat of this class.  If I had the funds, I would give this class away as a gift to many of my friends.

I definitely plan on taking the class again at some point to remind myself of my dreams and to create new ones, as well as meet new friends.

It is very hard for me to meet/make new friends. I have a fear of social gatherings of people I don’t know well. Small talk is painful to me, thinking of things to say is difficult for me, and listening to things I’m not interested in is very much like nails on a chalkboard.

Surprisingly for me, since taking the Mondo class, I have gained a pen-pal, Holli, who lives in Kentucky and writes the Wondering Spirit, and I actually met Laura (in person!), who lives in North Carolina, and writes Laura's Mommy Journal.

Laura e-mailed me and told me she would be in Chicago for business and asked if I wanted to meet up for wine and cheese (I told her she had me at “cheese”). I told Ignacio I was going on a blind-date with someone I had met on the internet, and off I went to meet Laura at Bin 36. Believe it or not, it was painless and I had a great time! I could even say it was easy, and for me, meeting new people is anything but.

Do yourself a favor, and treat yourself to a Mondo Beyondo class. Click the button on the right to sign up and tell me all about how your life has changed at the end of five weeks.

Mondo, baby, MONDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually happy cried at 1 am. I really can't remember the last time I cried because I was happy.

I've written about my Mondo Beyondo class before and now it has completed, but the magic hasn't stopped. From this class, I have gained a real live pen-pal (Holli lives in Kentucky), I've met (on-line, not live...YET) many new friends, fellow dreamers, and creative souls. Many of us seem to be still in the thick of the magic and community that has developed over the five weeks of the course. We are creating groups to share ideas and thoughts and dreams, still, even though our class has ended. It's beautiful.

Mondo Beyondo is about dreaming big, and one of the dreams I've had just might become a reality.

I was getting kind of bummed out because many people in my Mondo class have real magic happening, I mean HUGE things. Ummmm, like Mt. Kilimanjaro big. Seriously, someone from the class booked a trip to climb that sucker. So, yeah, REALLY big things happening for people. And naturally, I was wondering where my magic was. (can you hear me whining like a 3-year-old? "but, where is MYYYYYY magic?")

Well, last night, Piccolo (one of cats named after Brian Piccolo from the Chicago Bears, Sweetness, the other cat is named after Walter Payton of the Chicago Bears) woke me up at 1am for her nighttime snack. Yeah, really, it happens every night. I got up, gave Piccolo her treat and Camel (the dog named after my father -- he ran really slow-- my dad, not Camel) has to get a treat too.

--(see, now who needs children when I have pets that don't let me sleep through the night)

I went back to bed, checked my iPhone for the lottery numbers that get e-mailed to me every night after I am already in bed, and saw it. I got an e-mail about one of my dreams.  No, I didn't win the lottery.  The e-mail was about something completely different.  But, it was right there. I could not believe my eyes. I couldn't sleep. I HAD to tell someone. I thought if I called my mom at that hour, she would kill me and Ignacio had fallen asleep at 7pm watching television in the back bedroom. So, I did what any rational person would do. I went and woke him up at 1 am. It took me three times to tell the story before he was coherent and understood what I was saying. I was crying as I was telling him the story, and I kept saying, "IT'S MONDO!" "IT'S MONDO!!"

The two of us were probably awake for two hours giddy with excitement. Then, at 5am, the alarm went off and we were both exhausted from our middle of the night giddiness.

I'll post at a later date once things are a 'for sure' and explain what, hopefully, will be happening. It's not like I'm moving to France (although that is on my Mondo list), but it's a nice little surprise, and a good place to start.

Please click on the 'Mondo Beyondo' button on the right if you are at all interested in this five week course (I will get an incentive if you sign up through this blog). It's all on-line, and not at all time consuming. Please know that it is never to late to dream (MOTHER!!). Never.

****update:
after so much excitement about a Mondo dream coming true, the City of Chicago said "NO" to me.  Rat bastards.  The funny thing is that I wasn't deflated when I got the "no".  Yeah, the city can still suck it, but I was okay.  I think the excitement and how close I came to magic happening really lit a fire under my booty to make it happen another way.  So, the city may have closed the door, but as they say, "when one door closes, get a ramming rod, and open it yourself", or something like that.